Plainly stated – Charm is the ability to draw people to you. Once thought to have thirty seconds to make a first impression, we actually only have seven. That’s it. Seven seconds that can seal the deal.
First impressions are more non-verbal than verbal. In fact, non-verbal actions impact a first impression 4 times greater than anything that can be spoken.
Think about entering a meeting where the facilitator was looking down at their notes, at their watch, drinking coffee, looking bored. What would you think? That they are un-interested? Waiting for time to pass so they can “do their job” and go? Now imagine, entering that same meeting where the facilitator had eyes on the door, standing tall, shoulders back, smiling at everyone that came in the door. Maybe they even flashed an eyebrow. What would you think? That they’re happy to see you? That this is going to be a great day? Possibly even fun? What about if they actually walked up to you and shook your hand? Leaned in slightly? Would you feel a sense of rapport, of genuine interest in you as a person? Of course you would! In fact, a simple handshake builds the same level of rapport with someone as 3 hours of continuous interaction.
Charm is about more, however, than smiling and looking pretty. Charm is about being more concerned about how others think about themselves than you are about making them feel good about you. OBY (Others Before Yourself) is expecting excellence in others because you know that they are capable of it, a key to highly successful people.
Developing the Leader in You
- Love Life - Celebrate, be passionate. An interesting saying is to set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn. You become immediately interesting and attractive with a positive spirit.
- Give Everyone an A - No one wakes up in the morning and says, "I want to fail today." See the best in others and that is what you will inspire them to go after.
- Deal in Hope - Napoleon Bonaparte said that leaders were a dealer in hope. Give people vision. They will be attracted to you and grateful for it.
- Share Yourself - Tell stories of your successes or failures, allow others to know who you are, as a person and a leader. Find opportunities to get a bit personal so that others know you are more than just a title.
- Stay Away from the Un-Favorable Five. There is no room for them in leading: